Post by Linda on Mar 17, 2009 20:37:49 GMT
Which is the ideal place to practise on a tenor saxophone?
A: In Saddam Husseins bedroom.
B: Five fathoms under the surface of the Pacific Ocean.
C: In a deserted coal mine.
D: None of the above.
Correct answer: D: None of the above. A tenor saxophone player never, but never practises. The risk of learning to play is much too
great.
Q: How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but then again, who's really watching?
Q: How many french horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--but they'll spend two hours checking it for alignment and leaks.
Q: How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--they hold it up and the world revolves around them!
Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and a mouse?
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band!
Q: What's the difference between a dead saxophonist and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Why are there so many clarinets in a concert band?
It increases the odds that one will play the right note.
How many sections, other than the trumpet section, does it take to change a light bulb?
Trumpets: "You mean there are other sections in the band?"
How do you stop a conductor from drowning?
Take your foot off of his head.
How do you make a concert band loud?
Ask for mezzo piano.
How do you make a concert band quiet?
Ask for Bingo volunteers.
What's the difference between God and a conductor?
God knows He's not a conductor.
What's the difference between a saxophone and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug in the vacuum cleaner before it sucks.
A: In Saddam Husseins bedroom.
B: Five fathoms under the surface of the Pacific Ocean.
C: In a deserted coal mine.
D: None of the above.
Correct answer: D: None of the above. A tenor saxophone player never, but never practises. The risk of learning to play is much too
great.
Q: How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but then again, who's really watching?
Q: How many french horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--but they'll spend two hours checking it for alignment and leaks.
Q: How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one--they hold it up and the world revolves around them!
Q: What's the difference between a clarinet and a mouse?
A: You can't hear a mouse squeak over the entire band!
Q: What's the difference between a dead saxophonist and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Why are there so many clarinets in a concert band?
It increases the odds that one will play the right note.
How many sections, other than the trumpet section, does it take to change a light bulb?
Trumpets: "You mean there are other sections in the band?"
How do you stop a conductor from drowning?
Take your foot off of his head.
How do you make a concert band loud?
Ask for mezzo piano.
How do you make a concert band quiet?
Ask for Bingo volunteers.
What's the difference between God and a conductor?
God knows He's not a conductor.
What's the difference between a saxophone and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug in the vacuum cleaner before it sucks.